Correspondence
Dear The Dog,
There is a reason I keep dragging you away from the big poles with the wires on them. It's called electricity.
Also, thank you for licking up the spilled canola oil off the kitchen floor while I was cleaning the rest of it off the counter and out of the phone's handset.
Love,
The Princess
Dear The Princess,
1. The big poles looked yummy. Plus, the dielectric constant of wood is fairly low, so I don't think electricity is the major issue. I would thank you to mention splinters in the future.
2. Canola oil is yummy. The dielectric constant is fairly high, but again electricity was not the issue. I would further note that canola oil has no splinters.
3. Woof woof. On the internet, no one knows you're a dog. Well, maybe Verisign does.
Love, The Dog
PS - I have a name you know, but I appreciate you respecting my privacy and not mentioning it.