So That's Why I'm Still Single!

From The Death Of The Crank Call: In which Caller ID means no longer can you just dial and hang up and swoon. An epitaph.

The mating dance merely has a more intricate and elaborate beat now. It's just that much more complicated and silly as nowadays you gotta have a decent spam filter and a bitchin' animated buddy icon and a Motorola m3000 VideoPhone and a color-coordinated 40GB iPod loaded with just the right party mixes downloaded from just the right RIAA-condemned music servers, or you ain't down.