Continuing My Focus On Trivia
World O'Crap recently translated some christian advice column responses for the rest of us - the sortie into Dear Susie land motivated by Pete and Dr. Seb No being rejected by a Christian dating service (click on "yesterday" for the beginning of the sad tale).
It's probably just as well, given the straight-out scariness of God's Design for Scriptural Romance, Part VII:
Doesn't biblical courtship take romance out of the relationship? No, not at all. Actually, the biblical approach to relationships puts romance in its proper place, and its proper place is not during courtship. By romance, of course, we refer to the emotional and physical affection between a couple in love with each other. Emotional romance, God says, is to be reserved for the betrothal stage of a relationship after a binding commitment to marry has been made, preventing the broken-heart syndrome. This is why we urge that no romantic words, gifts, or private communication occur during courtship. [...] Similarly, physical romance is to be withheld until the wedding where the chaste couple experience their first embrace and kiss. [...]
Year after year the in-laws, aunts, and uncles will be giving the new family suggestions, recommendations, and advice. Will it concur or conflict with your own counsel? If their worldview, beliefs, and lifestyle are considerably different than your own, then their influence may take the form of bias, distortion, and indoctrination!
Perhaps they should have tried the London Review of Books, as described by Catherine Keenan:
...no one was quite prepared for the first ad, which read: "67-year-old disaffiliated flaneur, jacked-up on Viagra and looking for a contortionist trumpeter." A cult phenomenon was born.
Today, the back page of this learned journal is a compulsive read, a bizarre and often hilarious competition in wit and intellect and flat-out perversity. For some, it is the main - indeed only - reason to read the LRB. Recent offerings include: "Tap-dancing Classics lecturer. Chilling isn't it? (M, 38)." And: "Some chances are once in a lifetime. Not this one, I've been in the last 12 issues. Either I strike gold this time or I become a lesbian. Man, 43." [...]
Find the 10th coefficient in the expansion of the binomial (1+x) to the 20th power. Then love me some more. Mathematical Ms, Cambridge.
In true British fashion, it is generally regarded as bad form to mention one's qualifications or looks, except to talk them down. Terms such as troll-like, crab-faced and pock-marked are acceptable; gorgeous, sexy, and alluring are not. "Public school failure. Insipid, directionless, probably poor in bed. Looking for M or F reason to take life seriously" is an example.
If they need help writing their ads, they could look to some of the more scintillating responses I've received...
Online dating or dating in general is unique, it's kind of like receiving a gift, because gifts usually come beautifully packaged it's not untill you get past the wrapping's do you know what you really have. I'm always very attentive to my companions needs. [...] I am looking for that one woman who has similar interests, desires & qualities as my own. Two people must be very compatible if they are going to spend extended amounts of time together. Like a bird that strays from it's nest is like a man/woman who strays from his/her home. Remember "Wisdom is the art of skillful living"
"death by female" writes: well,i'm changing all this because....i had two weekends in a row off.for the first time.and had no one to go out with.lol...all of my friends are married.and they won't go out,or they don't have permission too...so really,i just want some one to hang out with.or people to hang out with.whatever you are into..i'm willing to try something new....well,a little bit about myself..uuhhhmm,i'm a nice,honest guy with many talents(i don't mean that in any lude or rude way).i just wish i had someone to share it with. [...] looking for an honest or maybe not.lol.. person either to hang out with or make something more of it.
WHY YOU SHOULD GET TO KNOW ME: Im boring, smart, Good looking, realistic, caring, demanding, dry sense of humor, nice guy (oops lost you right there) MORE ABOUT WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR: Accountable, Smart, Caring, Professional, Done with the party phase, responsible, Wanting to try a relationship- Your perfect if you can kick me in the backside and demand I be better;) Take me back to church? Must be presentable to mom;)
Here's the bad news - I'm a capitalist beefeater. Here's the good news - I understand you. Check my profile; Let me know. Please. PS Yes, it could work.
i read your profiel you seem very interesting you like celtic music?? (bag pipes) i love all things celtic (red heads espically) i thin kwe would have alot to talk about we seem to be on similar wavelength although if you read my profile you may not think so. but its so hard to summarize yoursel fin a few paragraphs. i would love to talk to you. I am a strict yet very caring Dom looking for a girl that is submissive or willing to be trained in BDSM no expereince is needed. She must understand this is a way o flife and not a game for kinky sex. She should be submissive but not a total doormat I want a girl that can speak her mind and stand up for what she believe in While i do want a D/s relationship this doesnt mean i DOnt enjoy "normal" things i can be very gentle and very rough as well. please be in the Austin area.
LOVE TO WATER SKI, PLAY DARTS, LOVE SPORTS BUT WHAT MAN DOESN'T. I LIKE MOVIES ALL RANGES. I LIKE TO GO OUT TO EAT AS WELL. I LIKE AN ATRACTIVE WOMAN THAT LOOKS AFTER HER SELF. THAT LIKES TO BE RESPECTED AND CAN GIVE IT. NOT BE ABUSIVE BECAUSE I WILL NOT HIT A WOMAN.
Looking to develop new relationships since the old one had kicked the bucket. Tired of kicking a dead horse.this ship has sailed. Im a very fun person and will make you laugh most of the time.come on what r u waiting for?
Oh my, why I am sleeping alone tonight?
