September 2004 Archives

Drinking is bad. When you drink, you can accidentally hang up your phone handset askew so the battery runs out instead of recharging, and also toggle the ringer off on the base of the phone, and then you miss it when UnwiredBen calls you from a conference* in MUNICH, GERMANY. Which sucks, especially if you've never gotten a transatlantic phone call in your entire life. A transatlantic voice mail message just isn't as good.

*Probably not from the conference itself, since it was 5am in Munich. Probably from his hotel room. Unless Palm developers are way rowdier than I thought.

In a document at work, I'm replacing "so children aren't lost in a bureaucratic shuffle" with "so children's needs aren't lost in a bureaucratic shuffle"...because when you're writing about the Child Protective Services system in any state, this distinction must be made.

Remember how I said I wondered what my posts would be like if I drank?

Now we find out.

Hmm, how boring.

Utopia Digitization Manager

When I was in college at Macalester in St. Paul, we had a game of stringing nouns together to make the funniest combinations we could. A woman named Sigrid won with "rolling aardvark heresy." Rolling, of course, is an adjective, but you see my point.

This spam subject line doesn't beat that - but it tries awfully hard:

methodic bookseller iberia campfire

I was going to shut down my spam-ridden Yahoo account and make a new one, but I'm loath to cut myself off from such entertainment.

Bonaro Overstreet:

You say the little efforts that I make will do no good; that they never will prevail to tip the hovering scale where justice hangs in the balance. I don't think I ever thought they would. But I am prejudiced beyond debate in favor of my right to choose which side shall feel the stubborn ounces of my weight.

I wouldn't have posted it. Because it's pink.

You're a Flute. Cute, but vicious.
What is your inner musical instrument? brought to you by Quizilla

[Update, seconds later: I now feel compelled to point out that I have never slapped any of my sex partners and yelled "say my name!" Really. And just pretend you've never seen the second movie, ok?]

While I have my differences of opinion with PETA on a number of fronts, I do applaud them for organizing useful information. When I'm going through the HEB, it's good to know what "normal" foods I can eat without guilt.

A while ago, someone I know talked to me about a match-up between movie villains. I think it was online, or maybe it was on radio. Or television. And it might have been the same as this match-up on defective yeti. Or maybe not.

Hopefully whoever it was reads this blog and remembers that conversation. Or at least that someone enjoys this link.

I finally got around to doing the Political Compass, since the coughing is keeping me from napping like I should be. *cough*

Economic Left/Right: -5.75
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.23

Unwired Ben said he was uncomfortable with the forced choice aspect. I usually hate forced choice, but I had very few instances in this test where I felt like my nuances were being steamrolled.

I was a wee bit surprised I wasn't more left, since it goes up to 10...*cough*

This is so damn cool.

Subj: The "Words" we speak, think, and learn to spell are the only Solution to...EVIL.
Date: 9/2/2004
From: GovCriteria777
--------------------------------------------------------
Who will save the Children? Please re-read
Proverbs 1:1-7 today.
--------------------------------------------------------
Forwarded Message:
Subj: The "Words" we speak, think, and learn to spell are the only Solution
to...Evil.
Date: 9/2/2004
From: GovCriteria777
--------------------------------------------------------
Subj: Re: *Crime Stoppers Int'l Notice of 7/20/2004 to Cease &Desist
Date:8/30/2004
To:GovCriteria777@cs.com

"The 'WORD' is very near unto you, in your mouth (to speak), and in your heart
(Thoughts), that You may "DO IT." (See Deu 30:14-20)

Automakers Getting a Taste for Vegan Values: Pleasing those who shun animal products is seen as key to reaching a wider, affluent group. By Sharon Bernstein, L.A. Times Staff Writer. August 23, 2004.

Is your car vegan?

...to automobile manufacturers trying to win favor among the increasing number of consumers who say they are environmentally conscious, vegans - who avoid all animal products - are what one marketing expert called the center of the bull's-eye.

How in god's name did I end up so blessed that so many people who love me would agree to come to a dance party with a bunch of strangers and not laugh at me (much) for bouncing around the room to some of my favorite music ever while wearing a killer black dress but (oops!) mismatched shoes*?

What chance is there that I can give them all back enough love that they know how much they mean to me?

How do I know so many men who are cool enough that they dance in public, despite their lack of preparation for such an activity due to their gender/cultural heritage as white men?

Why were dead fish a theme in my birthday cards?

What am I going to do with 40 bottles of Shiner plus rum, vodka, champagne, wine, margarita mix, triple sec, and gin?

Has anyone before in the history of the world uttered the sentence "I can't do the Buddha embrace when she's talking about scurvy!"?

Why does SportsNight make me cry?

Will my mom ever be happy?

If I am connecting to the Internet just fine, why does the new SP2-dehanced Windows XP insist on reporting that I have limited or no connectivity?

(*Virtually the same pair, from Keds, made one year apart and styled slightly differently - so when I picked them up and stuffed them in my bag, I grabbed the wrong two from the pile of four. I'm lucky it was dark.)

...our official tribute song, penned by the bard UnwiredBen:

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, MISS PRINCESS, BENEVOLENT RULER OF ALL THINGS LIZARD. MAY YOUR REIGN CONTINUE FOR ANOTHER THIRTY GLORIOUS YEARS! ALL HAIL THE AMAZING GODDESS! (subtle enough?)

That last part, in lower case, is done by the chorus - in case you were wondering.

Fifteen Years Ago, 1989

I don't remember how my birthday was celebrated, but it couldn't have been big. I think this was the year I started asking for doughnuts or banana bread for breakfast instead of a birthday cake. I didn't have any friends yet. I had just started sophomore year at Columbine High School, full of rage at my parents for taking me away from the High School for Performing and Visual Arts in Houston where I was actually popular. I was asked not to return because I failed art, but that made no dent in my fury - I couldn't have gone anyway because we moved, and that decision was made first!

It snowed on September 12th that year and I was absolutely stunned that snow could fall for so long, and so softly, and still end up in big piles. I had never seen it snow before, not for real. I walked around outside looking up into the clouds and everyone laughed at me, but gently.

Torn between heavy metal, the soundtrack to Hair, and copious quantities of Depeche Mode...

• Gloria Estefan
• Ann Richards
• Lily Tomlin

How cool is that?!