Wedding Poll #2: The Dresses
All right, here's the second wedding poll. But first, I have selected the winner of the first poll on worst gifts. Congratulations to Grace for her winning submission:
My mom and stepdad received a ceramic man pulling down his pants plant pot, complete with cactus where his penis would be.
Honorable mention for bizarro gifts, though it wasn't a wedding gift, goes to senior Russian finance ministry officials:
At this weekend’s meeting of finance ministers in St. Petersburg, senior Russian finance ministry officials give their Group of Eight colleagues military-look wooden crates containing glass AK-47 assault rifles – filled with vodka.
Moving along, I present a poll on worst wedding dresses. I was going to put your options below the cut, but this is too much fun to hide.
First, I present THE LINGERIE:
Next, THE URN:
Third in our parade is THE CHICKEN:
THE TAUNTING seems designed to make any woman anywhere look bad unless she is wearing a rigid plastic corset:
The following is known as THE JAWS OF LIFE because you don't so much wear it as get trapped in it, and a rescue effort is required:
GILT seems to be dress after dress after dress combined:
COLOR ME BAD is, well, pretty damn bad:
POUF seems to have some structural defect that does not allow the wearer to stand upright:
The model wearing LAYER (NOT) CAKE will probably kill you:
The recommended one-bow limit is defied in TIES:
And finally, BAD FUNG SHUI proves that red can indeed be an unlucky color.
Submit your votes!
Clearly Bad Feng Shui is teh winn4r.
I think the Poufstress is just slouching so her head fits in the picture, tho ;)
I'm voting for "The Jaws of Life"... it reminds me of a science fair volcano that exploded out of the real dress, with a layer of burnt stuff at the very bottom.
I think GILT is the worst, followed closely by BAD FENG SHUI. And I have to admit I kind of like LAYER (NOT) CAKE.
So glad to hear my the penis plant pot won! The really ridiculous thing? They've been married for 25 years and they still have it.
Where to start, where to start...I'm going with the Jaws of Life. And Grace, you are not alone. I, too, am somewhat drawn to Layer. But I would never wear it as a wedding dress!
OK, I'm changing my vote to Ties. It's just absolutely ridiculous. I can't stop thinking about it. What would you do if you were at a wedding and saw the bride walking down the aisle in any of these? And how about the greetings afterwards? "Your dress is LOVELY, very, um, different..."
Bad Feng Shui just made me choke on carrot. It is so bad in so many ways. If it were white it would be bad. Without the Headpiece of Horror it would be bad. It is just....bad.
And the AK-47s filled with liquor? That style bottle is very popular in some places. Not considered weird at all. Weird, huh?
I am back. Bad Feng Shui is the ugliest, but Taunting is the meanest. A design that would make ANY woman besides a model (and even maybe then) look like crap.
I linked to you at
http://linkateria.blogspot.com/2006/07/stumbling-into-friday.html
The Urn. I think it is inspired by a toilet tissue cover my great Aunt Josephine had.
It looked better on the Charmin.
I can't decide between Bad Feng Shui and Jaws of Life for worst overall. The headpiece of doom might put BFS over the top.
Ties gets my honorable mention for aesthetic confusion - top from under an '80s power suit, skirt from the 1950s. Taunting and Pouf are both just mean. It would take someone so skinny she could cut bread with her collarbones to look good in either of those. Jeez.
I have to vote Bad Feng Shui, although it was really touch-and-go throughout as to which one made me truly want to cry for the unfortunate bride who chooses (?) these dresses!
I say it is TIES, because it looks like they forgot to finish the top of the dress. And as bad as the others were, at least they were done.
What you called "The Jaws of Life" is actually an alien, human-eating blamonge.
The problem with having smart friends is that I often don't have any idea what they're telling me. What the f&*% is a blamonge?
A dessert. More specifically, I must confess that it's a Monty Python reference -- one who's spelling I didn't get right even after trying to look it up:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blancmange
Well in my opinion my fave is the GILT and POUF. My non-fave is the BAD FUNG SHUI and LAYER(NOT)CAKE. But when you are going to wear one of these to a wedding, I would definatly wear the GILT dress and definatly NOT the LINGERIE dress, your whole family will be there, so be carefull what you are going to wear!
I deffinately want to wear gilt on my wedding day... if not gilt then color me bad!!! i always thought that i would have the authentic/typical white dress... but then i saw these two [colored] dresses!!! My only question would be how much do each of these dresses cost?!?
i want to know the cost of 'gilt' and 'color me bad'..... of these otherwise ridiculous outfits those two completely stand out and are brilliant do let me know........
Gilt is amazing.
Where exactly did you find that dress??
I deffinately would pick BAD FUNG SHUI as the most hideous wedding dress I have ever seen my life! I hope no one will actually wear this dress on there wedding day, people are going to have a hard time tell her it's beautiful. By the way were did you find the gilt dress it beautiful even with all the layers.
um can i please know where you got the "gilt" dress from i know this blog is old but apparently when i was looking for gold dresses this one came up
NO WAY! The red dress is HORRIBLE!!!
Where can I get more info on the Gilt dress - I am inlove with it!! Desperate for any info - reach me at sonia.comfort@tpg.com.au THANK YOU!
Who is the GILT dress by?
I found it a long time ago
and never forgot it, I want
it for my wedding!
Thank you!
Hi. Where can I find the GILT dress. It's beautiful
Thank you!
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: I do not have any information about these dresses. All I did to get these photographs was search for the most expensive dresses on The Knot. I did not keep any information about the designers, etc.
Gilt is from the Kleinfeld Collection in New York. Its estimated at $5000+.
$5000 is cheap in their store.
Heya, I actually really like the GILT dress...Where did you find it? Could you give me the link via email?
I love that GILT Dress! Is there a website where I can purchase it?
The colorful "This model will kill you" and the pink "chicken" are my favorites. Where does one buy these wedding dresses?
The "Gilt" is the worst wedding dress because the bottom half looks like a GIANT VAGINA!
I LOVE THE JAWS OF LIFE - I wanna be married in that.
The worst is the Layer (not) cake - errrrghhh its like horrid
I hate the Chicken (name says it all)
The layers make you look like Barbie
And the red, I don't know if they found a name for that thing, wel de red makes you look like a monster JMO
And I Love love love love LOVE the Gilt!
Where did you find it
Bye
Can anyone tell me where I can find the purple wedding dress at. Its under the title color me bad.
could you tell me or find the Chicken dress please?
Does the GILT come in lavender? I absolutely love that one, but I want my dress to be lavender!
I'm voting on the jaws of life!
where did you find that dress?!
I actually liked The Urn...I think it's lovely and pretty, and oh so floaty :) Bad Feng Shui is just horrendous. The Taunting is pretty bad, too.
honestly, is there anyone that can tell me where the jaws of life is from?! or who its by?!
you guys are crazy, some of these dresses are beautiful.