May 2008 Archives

In case you missed it, in May I wrote some other stuff.

My favorite bits from Crafting A Green World:

• How Safe and Green Are Your Crafting Supplies? Part 1 and Part 2, wherein I evaluated a craft supply called fusible web and concluded that while it probably won't give me brain damage, we shouldn't be using it.
• Gorgeous Denim Quilts, wherein I compiled a list of interesting and non-country quilts made out of reused blue jeans.
• Alternatives to Batting for the Green Quilter, wherein my good friend S. helped me give the peeps some advice on ways to make the insides of your quilt as environmentally pretty as possible.

I also started writing at JUST CAUSE in April, focused on the nonprofit sector. My best post so far is Saving the World Without Phones or Lights?. You can find them all on my author page.

All Access Blogging has come back from a snooze. I'm consolidating all the tips into a master list called How To Make Your Blog Accessible. I'd love to get feedback from anyone, especially if you use LiveJournal, since that's the one I have the most trouble with. I'm using the main page of All Access Blogging to alert folks to new tips being added, and I'll probably throw in a few other things as well from time to time.

On Heroine Content, Grace and I put together the 21st Carnival of Feminist Science Fiction and Fantasy Fans, and then we were otherwise detained. One of our frequent commenters helped us out with a guest review of Speed Racer which helped me not dread seeing it for C-Man's birthday, and I have to say I mostly agreed with her take on the film.

And that was May. Bye bye, May!

So I found this essay called The Myth of the Minimum Wage. It goes through an exercise in showing that a husband, wife, and two children can survive in Los Angeles on the minimum wage. I was interested to see the math for a variety of reasons.

Indeed, the author does arrange a scenario in which dad works full time, mom works part time, and they get by.

If:

• Mom can find four other mothers who each want to work part time three days per week, and they can all get their part time schedules to line up reliably so they can rotate child care.
• Mom always gets her 24 hours per week at the fast food restaurant. Dad always gets his 40 hours per week at the janitorial company. No illness, no injuries, no petty managers.
• They had never incurred any debt they were trying to pay off.
• Both parents continued to live, and stay married to each other.
• The $30 for disposable income, which the author says would cover things like "buying new appliances" as well as entertainment, would also cover the deposit if they had to move because their rent went up, their furniture if it were damaged beyond salvage by a water leak in their apartment, or any medical costs not covered in their HMO plan (and the HMO plan didn't cost more the next year.)

I don't really have a problem with someone saying that cable and a computer are not basic necessities. I do have a problem with someone assuming all these things work out and then concluding that saving $30 per month for emergencies makes you "safe, sheltered, and secure."

Living on the minimum wage obviously can be done, if you're prudent and have all the luck in the world. It takes so little, though, to upset that precarious balance. Once you fall down, that minimum wage isn't going to get you back up, either. Hopefully the bad luck wasn't of the kind that would keep one of the parents from working overtime - if the apartment people will wait that long for the rent and not just kick them out.

(If you go and read the essay, please note that I am not commenting on a variety of other issues I had with it - but that does not mean I don't have them.)

Note to my readers who don't care about my feelings about software: Sorry! Please go on about your business. I will try to write something more interesting for you in the next few days.

I am not the target market for most products. I get this. The woman who ended up sobbing in the parking lot of IKEA on her first and only trip there because all she could think about when she saw all that merchandise was landfills and child labor and toxic plastic? Not going to buy your widget. So when companies don't expend any effort to reach out to me, I understand why. Go where the money is, people.

When I do fall for a product, though, I fall HARD. As you are no doubt aware if you've been reading this blog for any length of time at all, I fell hard for Movable Type (MT) the minute I logged in after Six Apart (6A), the company who makes it, installed it on my newly rented server space. Now, almost six years later, I love MT like I love America, which is to say that I think it's one of the better ideas out there and works very well, but I am FED UP with many of the decisions being made by the people who have power over it.

After much reflection, I have realized that 6A does not want me to use MT - or at least, they don't care if I do or not.

Ouch.

I haven't ever had a product I love decide not to love me back.

(I will admit up front that I have not been part of the solution. I do not test betas and offer feedback. I don't help out in the forums. C-Man and I spent a couple of hours troubleshooting a bug in the upgrade process in June of 2005 and let them know about it, so they could fix it in MT 3.17, but that was a while ago and I think our karma from that has long since expired. So I'm a lazy, selfish whiner, and you can take that into account as you read this.)

Here is what I have realized about MT's target market, and why it is not me:

• Movable Type is for people who either don't care what their blog looks like, can hand code beautiful CSS, or can afford to hire a designer.
• Movable Type is for people who don't care very much about accessibility, web standards, or future-proofing their blogs.

However, I still love Movable Type and recommend it, for reasons I describe at the end of this very, very long post.

Today was busy. Busy busy busy. Paying work, then vaccuuming, then off to the park, then the hour long saga of getting Boy Detective to sleep. So a quick post and then off to my own bed, hopefully to stay there for more than 45 minutes before the next round of screaming begins.

(Screen reader users: feel free to give me feedback over whether it's fair to post links to political cartoons without providing a transcript, as long as you can tell what the link is so you don't follow it for no reason. Still thinking this through for personal blogs.)

I can't even read this (scanned-in newspaper article) without laughing. The victim of this crime needs some personal sharing boundaries.

This cartoon is SO TRUE.

This political cartoon is also quite true.

• Being turned upside down
• Walking (which, unfortunately for my back, requires adult assistance)
• Ceiling fans
• Black birds
• Playing with dog food (dry)
• Pinching The Dog
• Grabbing The Dog's feet
• Chewing on The Dog's tail
• Costco

Like a car wreck, you just can't look away. Nothing wrong with a Monday morning that a little mocking won't cure.

My inner geek. If Boy Detective becomes a cheerleader, I am totally screwed.

Vegetarian myths, debunked. I really, really don't understand how the last two paragraphs made it through the editing process, but until then it's wildly entertaining.

Guess what? Grrrl power isn't hurting our boys. So what is? The first few lines are a bit confusing, but this warms my heart.

Explaining Michael Jackson. And no, not in that funny way.

Most people find, when trying to get to sleep, that SITTING UP and STANDING UP do not actually help.

Also, you are the only person I know who thinks that a good meal should be immediately followed by running. What's up with that?

Just askin'.

The giant snakes or the running ants?

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time at all, you know that I love BlogHer, and that I am a feminist. You don't have to be a feminist to love BlogHer. You don't have to identify as a liberal or progressive. You don't even have to be a woman.

So when BlogHer created BlogHers Act, a project to harness the power of women online to make the world a better place, was it difficult to find a project that everyone could agree on?

Um, no. There are plenty of ways to help out in the world that everyone can agree on as A Good Thing. BlogHers Act has assembled nine of them.

So, care to join me in saving women's lives by improving maternal health? As BlogHer Denise pointed out this week in her post There's Still More Work To Do, "The women and children and families of Afghanistan, Africa, Burkina Faso, Burma, China, Darfur, and Nepal still need our help."

We're giving part of our "economic stimulus" check to our local food bank to help repair some of the damage done to our local community by national policies (past and present), and some of it will go to this to help repair some of the international damage (again, past and present). Those are our motivations, they don't have to be yours. Not everyone can afford to spare some of that unexpected cash, but if you can, won't you join us?

Peace, everyone.

I realized that parenting an infant would make me tired. Even though I have a part-time babysitter, she's not the one who gets up 3-5 times per night with Boy Detective. Since he's given up letting C-Man put him back to sleep, I don't even feel like it's worth going to bed because 45 minutes later I'm going to be awakened by screaming.

What I didn't realize is how angry I would be all the time. I am so tired, and I am so angry.

It's not helping me clean up my language any, I tell you what. I don't swear AT Boy Detective, but I don't imagine that matters. It's not like he can't hear me unless I'm directly addressing him.

I just know I am going to be the mommy with a two year old who yells "FUCK!" in the grocery store.

A few quick posts I enjoyed lately, with my own titles:

I dare you to start using this phrase.

Next time, the note will be from the salad I forgot in the back of the fridge.

I so can't wait until Boy Detective talks back if he's going to be this clever.

Yes, but almost any answer is correct.

Note that she grew up like I did, using "coke" as a generic. When specificity is called for, though, she uses the actual name of the product in question.

Me: Do you need anything from Godwill?

C-Man: Don't think so.

Me: I was going to offer to get you a set of calipers, except you found yours. And I don't have any idea what calipers are.

C-Man: They're sort of a pinching thing with a ruler.

Me: So if we gave Boy Detective a ruler, he'd be a set of calipers?

Before I met C-Man, after I had broken up with That Guy I Lived With, I realized that I am bad at dating. Really bad. I am boy-crazy, and not in a cute way. Within five minutes of meeting a cute guy I would abandon all pretense of rational thought or minimum standards and stay up way too late every night and get all dramatic and generally act like an immature teenager even though I was 30. Then, as things disintegrated, I would NOT LET GO no matter how much the man's behavior and my own became increasingly unacceptable.

Honestly, it was getting annoying.

So I decided I needed to go with my strengths and organize some kind of list that would force me to more quickly eliminate potential suitors who were obviously not a fit for my lifestyle and preferences. I share it with you now for your edification/entertainment, with only minor modifications to protect privacy and remove boring parts. (I'm not even going to tell you whose privacy I'm protecting, that's how much I'm protecting it.)

You'll have to envision the bullets as checkboxes.

How to Avoid Abject Misery, Part I

Does the person you are seriously dating or thinking of seriously dating:

• Wash their hands after going to the bathroom?
• Have a car and apartment/house that is clean enough for you would feel comfortable living in every day for the rest of your life?
• Brush their teeth twice per day?
• Tolerate your negative emotions, such as fear, fatigue, sadness, and self-doubt?
• Show a strong tendency towards and high ability to delay gratification?
• Keep their promises?
• Actively manage money to meet personal goals and achieve financial security?
• Display an awareness of the basic premises of a liberal arts education, such as socialization, cultural differences, etc.?
• Believe in science rather than superstition on the important stuff?
• Follow a vegetarian path in part (at least) due to the ethical and moral arguments?
• Strive to make less of an impact on the planet and adjust consumer behavior towards that goal?
• Have well-developed hobbies?
• Have a career plan and the drive to accomplish career goals?
• Keep the dog on a leash?
• Respect your space when you're watching an important television show?

PLEASE NOTE THAT THESE ARE CHECKBOXES, NOT ESSAY QUESTIONS THAT ALLOW FOR PITIFUL EXCUSES GENERATED BY YOUR DESIRE TO HAVE A BABY AND A MORTGAGE.

If you have checked off yes to EVERY ONE of these items, you can go on to the next part.

LET US REPEAT THIS: THE ONLY CORRECT ANSWER TO EACH AND EVERY QUESTION IS YES.

How to Avoid Abject Misery, Part II

Does the person you are seriously dating or thinking of seriously dating:

• Burn incense or candles?
• Continuously wear clothing with holes or stains?
• Smoke or take drugs?
• Play music they know you hate when you're around?
• Keep and/or display photographs of you that you hate?
• Act physically intrusive or invasive?
• Depend completely on mood and whim to decide on behavior?
• Display evidence of an external locus of control?
• Reject counseling as a viable tool for personal growth?
• Treat strangers (store clerks, etc.) with a lack of respect?
• Embarrass you around family or friends?
• Have a lot of friends you find annoying, offensive, or impossible to relate to?
• Launch into angry or hostile outbursts often, and for little reason?
• Lie?
• Steal?

AGAIN PLEASE NOTE THAT THESE ARE NOT ESSAY QUESTIONS.

If you have checked off no to EVERY ONE of these items, you can go on to the next part.

LET US REPEAT THIS: THE ONLY CORRECT ANSWER TO EACH AND EVERY QUESTION IS NO.

THANK YOU FOR COMPLETING THIS FORM HONESTLY, since we assume that you would actually use it after you went to all the trouble of making it.

THE END

What you may be thinking at this point: "Wow, you're really a picky bitch."

Yes, yes I am. Which is why I needed to break up with unsuitable people sooner rather than later, to spare us both!

A few lovely things for y'all to read this morning...

Natural Consequences. I totally know what she means about the short-term memory.

Blogic. I think I'm glad my blog gets very few comments.

Un-bridaled shower. I never thought any of those toilet paper games at showers would be any fun at all, but I'm sad I missed this one.

Political Roundup. About grammar and gelatinous cubes.

A Paradox. You know how I love reading other people's mail.

Wow. My favorite part is when she calls the repair man B'Gary.

There is no good reason in the entire world why anyone should ever spell it "Wyrllwynd."

There are no oppressed whirlwinds who believe in the power of language as a transformative tool for liberation from the dominant power structure. There is no worldwide H shortage.

If you want to be quirky, get a houseplant and name it Lola or something.

Repeat until no longer necessary:

No baby has ever stayed awake forever.
No baby has ever stayed awake forever.
No baby has ever stayed awake forever.
No baby has ever stayed awake forever.
No baby has ever stayed awake forever.
No baby has ever stayed awake forever.
No baby has ever stayed awake forever.

It is entirely possible to create a good-looking room for a reasonable amount of money...

..if you're not me, and you can abstract rules of design and then apply them to a different space.

This place is always going to look like college students live here.

I saw him working on it with his dad, and then a few minutes later they got up from the computer.

Me: Did you send me that email?
C-Man: No.
Me: Why not?
C-Man: I couldn't tell if he was done.

But eventually, it showed up in my inbox.

It said this:

!#NN! N b / 76 .=-/t n l b bbbbbb,

Except with a bunch more spaces, because that's the easiest key to hit.

Long, long ago, I decided that I would post links to particularly internet writing on Saturday mornings, as sort of a replacement for Saturday morning cartoons.

I have now realized that everyone who is not watching Saturday morning cartoons on Saturday mornings is already taking part in their replacement for this activity. It's called sleeping in, for the lucky ones. It's called parenting for the rest of us. (p.s. to my son, 5:00 is not the new 7:00!)

The Saturday morning links had also started to feel stale. I was going to the same blogs, over and over. By now, you're either reading them, or you don't care. Either way, I was burned out.

Then I realized that Monday is the day of the week when y'all actually need links. Even for those of us who work at home, Monday is the start of a new week. Time to get energized, time to be inspired. Time to read some good writing! From new blogs! Luckily, I got a job reading blogs, so I found a bunch of new ones!

Welcome to Monday Morning Good Writing.

How to Cope with the Modern Dating Debacle. If only I'd read this when I was actually dating. God forbid I ever date again, though.

My mommy's running ... today. I never run, but I really enjoyed reading this.

My, how times have changed. Again, god forbid I ever date again.

Bread belongs in its own styrofoam bread-sized carrying case. If you've ever bought groceries, you will see truth in this.

Annoyingly sexist framing of Google VP Marissa Mayer. Wow, she wrote this three months ago? Oops.

Questions from Strangers. I like the bit about the Black Diamond run, and since I lived in Colorado for a few years, I even know what that is.

We Hates It, We Hates It Forever. OK, so this is not a new blog, but he's still cracking me up.

Add to the list that includes six months of nausea, pre-eclampsia, constant stabbing gallbladder and back pain, and various other less savory pregnancy and post-pregnancy issues:

• $620 worth of cavities