Flooded Lizard Kingdom

The Princess: I don't know that I would let him lie right there where the dog is going to kick.
C-Man: (trying to move baby) But apparently he would.
The Princess: That's because he doesn't think about the future very well.
Boy Detective: I think about Skynet ALL THE TIME!

Giant Robot Imprisons Parked Cars

My writing about cultural products gets extremely boring if it's over a paragraph.

I discovered this while cleaning out my blog a couple of months ago. I was making sure all the posts were marked up properly, checking for spelling errors, etc. I also read over everything to make sure I really wanted to keep it.

True, I didn't delete the excruciatingly boring posts about these movies I saw or something I objected to where someone dissed comic books.

My only motivation for keeping them was this: someday, my grandchildren are going to request proof that I have ever been boring. "Surely not!" they will say, hanging on my every word as I regale them with partially fabricated tales of my youth during the emergence of the Internet and the end of dependable cheap oil. And I will point them to those posts.

All this is to explain why my following comments are short.

Comment 1: Elisa Camahort and media girl have both blogged recently about Fiona Apple's album Extraordinary Machine. They can actually describe music, so you should read what they have to say. I think the album is amazing, and I was never all that impressed with Ms. Apple.

Comment 2: What the fuck is going on with the new Dr. Who where The Girl did something spunky and action-oriented in the first episode, but since then has been completely useless? I'm depressed about it.

Thursday, Friday, and Sunday, the Paramount Film Series is showing the original version of the 1954 Godzilla.

I'm really excited! My mother, in addition to being a devout Methodist Sunday school teacher and gardener, is also a fan of monster movies. Mothra was a staple of my childhood television viewing. Godzilla came later, and now I am working my way through the Godzilla films to build a list of personal favorites. (So far, Godzilla v. Gigan and Destroy all Monsters join the Mothra films as my top picks.)

The New York Times had a good piece on how the restored film differs from the version that was originally made available to American audiences.

As the historian William Tsutsui reminded us in last year's cult classic, "Godzilla on My Mind," the 1954 movie was a dark, poetic production that dealt openly with Japanese misgivings about the nuclear menace, environmental degradation and the traumatic experience associated with World War II. [...]

The American company that bought the rights to distribute the film in this country cut a large chunk from Honda's original film and rearranged the plot. The biggest change involved splicing in Raymond Burr, who played an American reporter chronicling the devastation for the press. Dialogue that dealt heavily with human suffering, the morality of all-out war - and the temptation to play God with weapons of mass destruction - was left on the American cutting room floor.

I love watching Gojira stomp on tiny tanks, but I also like a little substance with my smashing. Thanks to the Paramount for such an opportunity!

The freakiest thing ever in the history of the world: Bloodhag. They're a death-metal (a.k.a. EduCore) band that performs short songs about science fiction authors, and they will let you in free to a show with a 300-word essay about any of those authors.

You can also listen to their song about Thomas Pynchon. (Be careful, music started instantly when I went to this page.)

All the Chinese phrases from Firefly translated for you. Turns out they curse a lot - who knew?

Thanks to UnwiredBen for sending this link to me. It's amazing what one finds when renewing one's drive to clean out electronic storage systems.

I'm not a big fan of Amazon.com, either, but they have the Hitchhiker's Guide trailer up right now. At one point, you will say "Zaphod only has one head?! WTF?!" Just wait.

[Update: OK, apparently I'm the very last person in the world to know this. I should, oh, I don't know, read the news or something.]

CNN: Sci-fi museum going for more than geek appeal

One of the coolest sections is the interactive, computer-animated display that mimics a space station. Ships float past, from the Enterprise of "Star Trek" and the Millennium Falcon of "Star Wars" to the goofy Planet Express of the TV cartoon series "Futurama." Visitors can see images of the ships from any angle, and learn about their dimensions and features.

Another highlight is a globe-shaped projection screen developed by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. Using four projectors, it can accurately display the surface of planets -- from Jupiter to the ice world Hoth from "The Empire Strikes Back."

Just one question: what type of ritual is appropriate before embarking on a journey of this significance?

SaveFarscape News : Congratulations Scapers - You did it!

What I have learned from watching Seasons 1-3 of the X-Files in as many weeks:

1. If you are dedicated to bringing government misdeeds to the public's attention, the only rational response to an international cover-up of an intergalactic conspiracy is to immediately proceed to your friendly locally owned copy shop, make 10,000 copies of any evidence you uncover, and mail it to all of your friends. Note: this response rules out the strategy of keeping only one copy of the evidence in your motel room while you are away.
2. Corollary: If you are a hacker and you get into a Defense Department top secret file, please do not put "copy protection" on the "DAT tape" so that no one can make additional copies.
3. Light bulbs are an incredibly scarce and valuable resource, so they must be used as little as possible.
4. Good scriptwriting in the third season of a series is not about having your female character lapse into unprovoked and stilted speeches reflecting her philosophy from the pilot episode.
5. Even if you are an innocent victim of a murderous alien who can switch genders, all is not lost. You can later show up as a murderous agent of the government, with no links whatsoever to your prior identity.
6. When you notice a situation in which a person's life depends on your action and you must exit your car and run somewhere to save that person, it is vital to spend time closing your car door before proceeding to offer assistance.
7. Mulder was so in love with Scully, and anyone who argues otherwise is a damn liar. Note: Something may have happened in the superfluous seasons (7 and above) that I don't know about, but I reject those seasons as non-canon.

Stay tuned for my lessons from Seasons 4-6, in which we learn that vaccines cure diseases.

Neal Stephenson's appearance at BookPeople on Wednesday would be an excellent opportunity to make him mine. Or at least make him nervous. But I have given up the stalking, so I must content myself with feeling lucky that he is actually interacting with the public.

I told E. a while ago that *someone* who really loved me would buy me the Firefly boxed set for christmas. Guess what, it's me! Hurray for pre-ordering.

The Quest For Cool:

Instead of canvassing their sources by hand, in person, they built up an army of teenagers that constantly feeds them information online. They estimate that they have 20,000 contacts, with the number expanding 500 to 1,000 a month...The Look-Look kids - they're known as "field correspondents" - wander the cultural landscape with digital cameras...uploading images from parties and concerts and sporting events...Because these kids are permanently wired to the mother ship, Gordon and Lee can ping them at will with specific requests from clients. When Calvin Klein came to them with a list of possible names for a new fragrance targeted at young men, Look-Look could quickly run the list past 10,000 or so teenage eyeballs.

How Snow Crash. Or Interface. Or something. It's like I can quit reading science fiction and just read Time Magazine.

Alan Moore: I read League. Well, I tried. Maybe The Watchmen was the apex of your career - it was amazing, and revolutionary, and I loved it. This...

Guy at Dragon's Lair: When I told you my heart was breaking because The Invisibles was over, you recommended Transmetropolitan instead of Planetary. What the hell were you thinking? I could have been reading Planetary years ago!!

My Own Common Sense: How did you not predict that Tadpole would be so vicariously socially awkward that you couldn't bear to finish watching it? However, it was an extremely cool feeling to just go into the indie video store and rent whatever I wanted. I had already cut up my Blockbuster card, so I didn't get the $2 off or whatever they were offering to help me transition away from sending my money on censorship.

They cancelled Farscape.

I quit. No more liking anything.

A horror movie populated by extremely cheerful people. Seriously, they don't seem all that stressed by having a blood-sucking alien stomping around hanging people upside down in the greenhouse and shredding up dogs to feed the podlings that will take over the Earth. I actually started to suspect the woman *was* a podling, so insignificant was her fear reaction to these events. But it was kind of cool that she didn't faint. And she tied her boyfriend to a chair, so that's good.

I've been thinking about Minority Report for a while, wanting to say something but not knowing what to say. But I think I have it: The only way you could enjoy this movie is if you actually were surprised that someone could mess with the system. Unfortunately, it's not really possible to be surprised about that. Oh well.

Here's what I have to say about Episode 2:

What, women are biologically defective in the force? One woman on the council, 4 or 5 more in the big fight. Irritating.

But the last 45 minutes did kick ass.