Recently in Spambots and Search Terms Category
I wish I could help you, brave Internet Searchers who are so confused about what Google spits back out at you. You must be confused, or you wouldn't actually have clicked through to this blog when looking for the following things:
banana advantages and disadvantages
define wack
"tired of writing" "good code" (dude, suck it up. otherwise you just make things harder for the people who come after you)
best cinnamon roll in texas
husband wants wear women's jeans
how to build a covered wagon float on a trailer
That spam email reminded me that it's been far too long since I posted a list of search terms people used that got them to this l'il blog. So here it is. The good ones, of course, I do try to curate these things before I present them to you.
- my understanding of public school finance (who would google for their OWN understanding of public school finance?)
- chicken ideas for a float
- large premade doghouses
- trapped in a wedding dress
- pinched nerve congested head
- adapting a walk behind snowblower to a garden tractor (walk faster? walk slower?)
- jaw makes crunching noise
- texas tree bark wedding bands
When I had a pinched nerve, I did not have a congested head, sorry. My jaw does make a crunching noise, though, although it's more of a popping. Aside from that, I have no idea what to tell these people.
I got a spam email yesterday from "Hoagland Wattenbarger" with a subject line of "sententious smaragd."
Anyone stupid enough to buy Viagra from an email like this pretty much deserves whatever they get.
- cat playing jinga
- ugly hand crafted items
- lyric soalmate
- thanksgiving puppy
- run over stick figure
- sexy santa claus hate
- layered beach cake
- dog hanging on for dear life
- hand drawn chainmail
- boys lingerie
The title of this post is an actual subject line from a spam email I received this morning.
I've always thought people had to be awfully naive to fall for spam email. If anyone clicks on this spam, which basically says "Hey, how would you like a denial of service attack on your site 15 minutes from now?", I rest my case.
It didn't fool me for even half a second, but what a great alias. Thanks for the laugh.
Love,
The Princess
An email from "Bimbo Burlingame" is not going to make me click on it just to see what it says. I'm just not that bored.
Spammers,
You probably already know that I hate you for filling up my mailbox and the junk comment traps on my blogs. But aside from the massive time-suck of cleaning up that mess, I have another, more specific reason to hate you.
You have given me something in common with the Religious Right.
I know, it sounds like a wild accusation. How much can a Democrat-voting, tofu-eating, Equality Texas-donating, and a-bunch-of-other- liberal-stuff-I-can't- think-of-right-now- because-I'm-such-a- liberal-that-it-just- seems-normal-to-me-doing Austinite possibly have in common with the Religious Right?
WE BOTH HATE LOOKING AT YOUR NASTY PORN SPAM EVERY DAY AND WE THINK YOU'RE EVIL!
It's just pitiful, really. Get a job.
With all due respect, and I really mean that,
The Princess
Has anyone else received the following spam missive?
Call out Gouranga be happy
Gouranga Gouranga Gouranga
That which brings the highest happiness!
If so, have you tried it? Results?
t-HYPE in a post on Beliefs, Blackness, and Bollywood:
Being the statistics geek that I am, I periodically check the search terms that brought people to my blog. As usual I'm scrolling along through "trailer for dhoom 2," "hrithik's thumb," "rimi sen racist," when I stumble across "meaning of collard greens in hindi."
Check out her post for a few of her thoughts on the subject.
We have not been so lucky in the lizard kingdom, but there are a few keepers:
- dating online stupid in italy
- i'm sorry for hurting our love letters
- guess who's coming to dinner movie essay [fuck you, do your own homework!]
- long haired rockers that love bbws
- fariborz jahansoozan
- let me try to write a letter requesting information [feel free]
- preschool peter pumpkin eater flannel craft art project [not likely]
- shirtless darth maul figure
- vegan leather steering wheel
- austin sex quick fuck highland mall sex 2005 [putting the same word in twice gives you better search results, right?]
- seen so much porn
- do gnats bother monitor lizards [gnats bother everyone]
- little boys with long hair
- even large objects like planets across the universe instanteously spam
That last one is really depressing, actually.
