Recently in Spambots and Search Terms Category

Sometimes I like looking at how people got to this lovely blog using their trusty search engines...

really really short skirt (Yes, you get totally different results by adding that second "really.")

someone who thinks they're better than women (can't you just walk down the street and find some? I'm pretty sure they're everywhere.)

sinking feeling never find someone (I had that once. Then I realized it wouldn't be that bad, so The Dog and I were saving up for a townhouse. Then I found someone, which was also nice.)

how fix my toaster (I obviously have no idea.)

wish i was a stepford wife (Now here's where I wonder... were they looking for my post on this topic and they remembered the name but not where they saw it, or did I just find my soul mate? Or rather they found me. But didn't leave a comment.)

essay on godzilla on my mind (Bring it back when you find it, sounds interesting!)

why feminism screwed women over (I think first you need to actually prove there was a crime before you speculate on motive.)

where can i find the purple dress shown on lizard kingdom.com wedding poll #2 (As if someone out there is blogging about the dress post...)

craft stores colorado consignment booths (I can't help you.)

if your parents don't like lizards and you want one what should i do (If my parents don't like lizards and I want one what should YOU do? Or if your parents don't like lizards but you want one what should I do? I'm confused.)

vin diesel's barefeet (Not this again...)

I wish I could help you, brave Internet Searchers who are so confused about what Google spits back out at you. You must be confused, or you wouldn't actually have clicked through to this blog when looking for the following things:

banana advantages and disadvantages

define wack

"tired of writing" "good code" (dude, suck it up. otherwise you just make things harder for the people who come after you)

best cinnamon roll in texas

husband wants wear women's jeans

how to build a covered wagon float on a trailer

That spam email reminded me that it's been far too long since I posted a list of search terms people used that got them to this l'il blog. So here it is. The good ones, of course, I do try to curate these things before I present them to you.

• my understanding of public school finance (who would google for their OWN understanding of public school finance?)
• chicken ideas for a float
• large premade doghouses
• trapped in a wedding dress
• pinched nerve congested head
• adapting a walk behind snowblower to a garden tractor (walk faster? walk slower?)
• jaw makes crunching noise
• texas tree bark wedding bands

When I had a pinched nerve, I did not have a congested head, sorry. My jaw does make a crunching noise, though, although it's more of a popping. Aside from that, I have no idea what to tell these people.

I got a spam email yesterday from "Hoagland Wattenbarger" with a subject line of "sententious smaragd."

Anyone stupid enough to buy Viagra from an email like this pretty much deserves whatever they get.

• cat playing jinga
• ugly hand crafted items
• lyric soalmate
• thanksgiving puppy
• run over stick figure
• sexy santa claus hate
• layered beach cake
• dog hanging on for dear life
• hand drawn chainmail
• boys lingerie

The title of this post is an actual subject line from a spam email I received this morning.

I've always thought people had to be awfully naive to fall for spam email. If anyone clicks on this spam, which basically says "Hey, how would you like a denial of service attack on your site 15 minutes from now?", I rest my case.

It didn't fool me for even half a second, but what a great alias. Thanks for the laugh.

Love,
The Princess

An email from "Bimbo Burlingame" is not going to make me click on it just to see what it says. I'm just not that bored.

Spammers,

You probably already know that I hate you for filling up my mailbox and the junk comment traps on my blogs. But aside from the massive time-suck of cleaning up that mess, I have another, more specific reason to hate you.

You have given me something in common with the Religious Right.

I know, it sounds like a wild accusation. How much can a Democrat-voting, tofu-eating, Equality Texas-donating, and a-bunch-of-other- liberal-stuff-I-can't- think-of-right-now- because-I'm-such-a- liberal-that-it-just- seems-normal-to-me-doing Austinite possibly have in common with the Religious Right?

WE BOTH HATE LOOKING AT YOUR NASTY PORN SPAM EVERY DAY AND WE THINK YOU'RE EVIL!

It's just pitiful, really. Get a job.

With all due respect, and I really mean that,
The Princess

Has anyone else received the following spam missive?

Call out Gouranga be happy
Gouranga Gouranga Gouranga
That which brings the highest happiness!

If so, have you tried it? Results?